Dear America,
We had one black president. This has often been touted as a symbol of progress. It has been used as proof that racism is dead and that equal opportunity exists for all. But dare I say it, our first black president was white adjacent. During the election his white upbringing was constantly highlighted in order to provide a sigh of relief to white conservatives and as for us black folk, we were so desperate for political representation we accepted his candidacy as a means to disrupt racist tradition. But truth is equality is a myth. We as black people are still out here picking symbolic cotton, eating off broken tables and being fed equality crumbs and other scraps.
Take my place of employment for instance. We are a social service agency that prides ourselves on our diversity, inclusion and unity. We have yearly cultural competency trainings. We attend conferences on implicit bias. We are inoculated against bigotry right? Wrong! For one, our trainings are tone deaf and do not reflect the clients in which we serve. We serve predominately black clients and yet we got a one page handout on “How to work with Latinos” for which we had to sign a one page acknowledgement in order to say we are an inclusive agency. For two, I am the only black social worker on my team. I work with 8 white people. You do the math. But this is progress right?
Truth be told as the only black social worker at my job, I feel alone. My culture, my food, my experiences are not shared let alone understood. They are merely tolerated for the sake of optics. My agency wants to “appear” inclusive and so I am touted out as a symbol of diversity but where is the diversity when you only have one black social worker on a team of 8 white social workers? Some days I feel like a prized mare, a diversity mascot trotted around the agency as proof that we are making progress and that equality is here but this is nothing but some horse shit used to give the illusion of inclusion when the truth is- We are still eating equality crumbs off a broken table.
I have to be honest, I worked hard to get a seat at the table. But when I arrived at the table, I was served food I did not recognize off a menu I did not understand. In other words I am the only black person at this table. There is no one that looks like me, shares my experiences or speaks my language. In truth I am visibly invisible as I am physically seen but culturally unseen.
As the only black professional at this table I struggle under the weight of double consciousness daily. I find myself second guessing myself and my behavior; always feeling the pressure to ensure that I’m together even when I feel as though I am unraveling at the seams. I am exhausted and am hungry for my culture and people that look and sound like me. But there is no one that looks and sounds like me. Funny thing is in school, they never tell you as you pursue access to this table that you might lose your identity in the process. Is this the cost of success, lack of representation and professional loneliness? I guess the answer to that question is yes. But isn’t this progress?
As I sit at a table of 8 white change agents, I ask myself this question: is this progress? To me it feels like another revamped rendition of racist practices. And most agencies wonder why they are unable to retain talent of color. Most people of color are tired of being the only ones at these agencies fighting for their lives, struggling daily to be heard, seen, respected and valued. They are sick to death of being used as symbols of change when there is no real change. It is all performative optics used to satisfy some corporate agenda. I am tired of being used as a hiding place to mask the covert bigotry that still exists in companies today. It is not a good feeling knowing that you are simply a tool used to build an even bigger death machine.
I know some companies say they want to do more to recruit talent of color but many times administrators often hire from within the company, a predominately white company and if they do decide to hire outside the company, nepotism ensures that any new hires are somehow affiliated with the staff that is already working there usually majority white staff. So all this does is perpetuate the unequal hiring practices that leave talent of color alienated and ultimately disenchanted with the professional world altogether. There has got to be genuine efforts made to recruit talent of color and ensure a fair equitable workforce.
America you need to take yo’ ass back into the kitchen and prepare a freshly frosted cake filled with diverse flavors. We as black people are tired of subsisting off the crumbs of the status quo. In this pandemic people are gravitating towards the familiar and what is familiar is white supremacy. America you must be vigilant about providing a truly diverse workforce because if not, the equality that you claimed to have worked so hard to build will come crashing down like a ton of bricks. Soon the people will follow as they rail against such unfair practices. We are tired of crumbs. We are here to enjoy the whole equality cake even if we have to bake it ourselves.
