Being the only black person at work has got to be the most challenging experience ever. I wish my white co-workers understood this concept however their whiteness affords them a certain level of ignorance that my black ass cannot get away with.
Working within predominately white spaces (PWS’s) has unfortunately yielded many painful life lessons. I’ve learned that being white means a couple things. For one it means never having to feel your skin color every day of your natural life. It means never having to be reminded of how different you are every single day. Also I’ve learned that being white means knowing that at least 5 of your co-workers will look like you. As a black man I cannot say the same thing.
As a mental health social worker, I have worked at agencies that have been predominately white and female. Many times I have felt the oppressive sting of their covert biases as they often times have tried to undermine my agency in very passive aggressive ways. When confronted, they often times have weaponized their tears and have engaged in racial gaslighting, pretending that I am somehow imagining the microaggressions they deploy every single day. While they have not come out and candidly admitted this, I realize that based on their behavior, body language and choice of wording, they are threatened if not appalled by my presence and by the fact that I defy their stereotypes and by extension their control. They like well-behaved black boys who know their place. The moment you assert your expertise and stand in your power, they become afraid and seek to sabotage you. All with a smile of course.
Thing is most social service agencies purport supposed “fair hiring practices” and laud their desire for an inclusive and diverse work environment that reflects the clients they serve as well as the world in which we live but this is a lie. This is all put into the mission statement as pure optics. It’s all performative pomp used to secure funding and avoid litigation. Truth is most social service agencies are predominately white unless centered on a specific ethnic population. This invisible system of white dominance within agencies continues to be maintained by white staff as many of these agencies tend to disseminate internal postings which seek to hire talent from within before casting the net wider into the greater public. As white talent seeks upward mobility, there are vacancies left to fill. Usually after some time, the postings are extended to all people. Thing is most people that work at these agencies have access to these postings which they either send to their friends and family (usually white) which only perpetuates the disproportionate number of black employees in any agency. This is why you see so few black faces the higher you ascend the corporate ladder. There is a silent desire to maintain whiteness within these positions as it is the misguided belief that black talent is inferior, substandard and less than. Couple this with the internalized oppression that fosters an imposter syndrome within talent of color and the comfortability of maintaining your status quo bigotry and you have a rationale as to the lack of black talent and the dearth of black faces in leadership positions. Truth is many white people still feel like they are giving black people charity. It is the unfortunate belief that we are once again saved by the grace of the white hand.
As a result of this furtive inequity in hiring practices a phenomenon known as “black flight” has occurred. This is where professional agencies have struggled to maintain talent of color due to the lack of diversity and stealth misrepresentation perpetrated by the agency and its accompanying stakeholders. We as black people are often times promised inclusion during the interview process yet once we accept the offer and begin to find our footing within the agency culture, we slowly come to the realization that there is no culture and our presence is merely tolerated for the sake of optics. We realize that we have been bamboozled and sold the dream of diversity while living the nightmare of professional slavery. Many times before starting a job, I’ve been curious to know what the ratio of black talent was to white talent. During past interviews I was too afraid to ask this question for fear of looking like “that guy”, the race baiter, the one who is deemed responsible for racial tension within the office simply because of my desire to find myself reflected in the place I worked.
It is important to see yourself reflected in the place you work. This not only boosts morale but it also builds trust in an agency as you begin to notice the congruence between the mission statement and the actual workforce. When you do not see yourself reflected in the place in which you work, it results in professional dissonance where you begin to wonder if who you are can ever find inclusion in a place where no one looks like you. You also experience a sense of double consciousness where you feel caught between two worlds, one where you are a black professional in a predominately white space and the other where you are a black man endowed with everything endemic to being black, culture, food, idioms, mannerisms all of which you feel are challenged by your very presence within these predominately white agencies. This constant code-switching and self-monitoring of your blackness for the sake of combating stereotypes is exhausting. Having to always explain the tenets of your culture to your white counterparts is also exhausting and feels like an exercise in futility because many of them either lack experience with black people or are committed to misunderstanding you in spite of best efforts to provide enlightenment and awareness. Sometimes you just want to be around people who get you minus the disclaimers and cultural asterisks. I have sought this professional kinship from many of the agencies I have worked for only to realize that I am the only black person again and again. I am hoping this will change however I know that progress is slow. I mean we just had a black president after 219 years of white leadership and truth is even that was perceived to be a charitable action. I am hoping that we really begin to level the playing field instead of choke on the optics that are often served as substitutes for real change. But like my hope, my patience is wearing thin. Either give us representation or you will see many of us take our talents elsewhere.
