During a recent team meeting, a white male coworker processed his motivations behind a recent encounter he had with another coworker. In his explanation, he mentioned how he felt the need to “throw himself on the sword” by voicing what he imagined were the feelings of another coworker as he felt she was not being listened to. By taking it upon himself to articulate what he felt were her feelings, he felt he was rescuing her and thus doing his duty as a “Good Samaritan”. As he vocalized such an unwarranted display of heroism, the other coworker looked at him like he had three heads as she felt his behavior was not appropriate to the situation. His self-perceived act of heroism, one he thought was a noble gesture was really a tone-deaf attempt to center himself. It really did not take into account her needs but rather was just a cheap attempt to bolster his own flailing ego.
After that transaction, I realized something: most white people really have no clue how to be real. They live in an alternate universe with a distorted sense of justice, heroism and truth. Society has sheltered them in a cocoon of safe fantasy to a point where they do not have an accurate understanding of the psychology of inequity. The unreality of white supremacy has convinced them that the way they perceive the world is the way the world actually is. Many do not factor in cultural differences and when they do, they see it as an act of charity, something that should yield praise and celebration. It highlights their need for superiority as well as showcases deep-rooted insecurities which are often masked behind a heroic veneer.
I see this everyday- The highly publicized and heavily photographed efforts of white law enforcement agents taking pictures with members of a marginalized community in an effort to dismantle the perception, one that is actually a truth that is trying to be buried (think Lanier Lake and Seneca Village). Additionally, the performative kindness of white coworkers sickens me to the core because I know that such hyperbole, such theatrical expressions of supposed humanity are just ways for them to garner praise and reclaim the spotlight as they must ensure they center themselves in everything. In their attempt to maintain and assert dominance, they do not realize how much danger they put not only themselves in but other people as well.
An example of this can be seen in the recent murder of Jordan Neely, a 30 year old homeless man in New York City who after vocalizing threats on a public train, was put into a chokehold by Daniel Penny, a white former marine and later pronounced dead. Antiblackness and excessive force due to internalized bias aside, here was a white man who thought he was saving others. Here was a white man who thought that excessive force was his duty, his right. Here was a white man who thought his actions were an act of heroism when in fact they were an act of domestic terroism.
There were so many different ways that encounter could have gone, ways that could have persevered and even improved Jordan’s life. This young man had mental health concerns, concerns that were underdiagnosed and untreated. This young man lost his mother as she was murdered by her boyfriend when he was just 14 years old. Instead of enlisting the assistance of law enforcement officers, instead of utilizing social workers, the man was put into a chokehold and strangled to death under the guise of white heroism.
Often times I think of the many lessons that colonization teaches. One salient lesson it teaches is that white men are entitled to their hatred. Another lesson is that it is their duty to protect and uphold the institution of whiteness at all costs. Another lesson it teaches is that white male heroism is necessary and without it, the world is doomed to an uncertain fate. I for one am sick of these lies! I am tired of watching the tone deaf heroism of white men get praised, validated and deemed something noteworthy and honorable. They fight these minuscule wars of insecurity in the privacy of their minds and project these wars onto black bodies resulting in the death and annihilation of black people while the systems charged with the responsibility to serve and protect mull over whether to press charges against white perpetrators. Black lives always take a back seat to the misguided expression of white heroism.
And thing is the misguided expression of white heroism hurts its owner. White men continue to operate from this belief that they must protect whiteness and as a result they are losing soul. By losing soul, I mean they are losing their humanity and the genuineness needed to remain spiritually whole. All they know is that their whiteness is in danger and it is something that must be sheltered at all costs.
Unfortunately it is the unspoken belief that Black people are used to pain so that is their lot in life but whiteness? No whiteness is not used to such indignities and therefore must be protected and sheltered from the vicissitudes of life while we as black people continue to subsist off a diet of inequity, injustice and bigotry. Tell me: Where is our protection? Where is our hero? Our heroes are being murdered by white men who self-appoint as heroes but they are not heroes, they are misguided boy men, broken and defeated by the disease of white supremacy. If they are looking to save someone, they need to start with themselves. Not all heroes wear capes. Some wear bias and murder under the guise of false heroism. Dear white men, check your heroism. It could very well be your undoing and most importantly, the undoing of the world.
